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Building Each Other Up

Abortion is an emotionally charged subject. It’s easy to get swept up defending the value of the preborn and forget to build up the people around you too. We don’t want to “defeat” the people we disagree with — we want to build a culture of life where everyone wins. These posts suggest ways to bring care and respect into your conversations.

Person 1: ...so that’s why I’m not convinced. Person 2 (our hero): You made some really good arguments. I’ve never thought about it that way. Can we talk again after I’ve had some time to study this more?

Person 1: I wish I had been aborted. Person 2 (our hero): I’m really sorry to hear that. It sounds like you’re not in a great place right now. I would love to do anything I can to help you. Would you like to talk more?

Person 1: Abortion obviously kills a human. How are pro-choicers so dumb? Person 2 (our hero): Pro-choice people are usually quite reasonable. I know I’ve been wrong about important things before, even though I wanted to do what’s right.

Person 1: I’m pregnant and I’m going to get an abortion. Person 2 (our hero): Oh wow. Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me. I’ll be here for you no matter what. Can I ask why you’re planning to get an abortion?

Person 1: I’m pro-choice because when my aunt got an abortion, pro-lifers screamed at her. Person 2 (our hero): Wow, I’m really sorry that happened. I think those people should have treated your aunt with respect, not screamed at her.

Person 1: So that’s why I’m pro-choice. Person 2: That’s so dumb. What he said doesn’t even matter. Person 3 (our hero): Wait, I don’t agree with him either, but I do think he made a good point. Let’s think about his argument together for a minute.

Person 1: I’m pro-choice. Person 2 (our hero): Okay. I’m interested to know what that means to you. In which cases do you think abortion is okay?

Person 1: So that’s why I’m pro-choice. Person 2 (our hero): Thanks for explaining. I think I get it, but I want to make sure I understand your view correctly. Let me ask a couple questions to clarify.

Person 1: Did you see that ______ is pregnant? What a slut! Person 2 (our hero): Women get pregnant all the time, but you don’t see it because they get abortions. I’m proud of ______ for choosing to keep her child.

Person 1: I’m pregnant and I’m scared. Person 2 (our hero): It’s okay to feel scared, but everything will be okay. We’ll figure this out together. I’ll be here for you through everything. There’s no hurry, so let’s take this one step at a time.

Our hero: I know abortion is a difficult subject, but I’d love to have a calm and reasonable conversation with you. I know we both want to help people, and we both want to do what’s right. I bet we can both learn from each other!

Person 1: I wouldn’t have guessed you’re pro-life. Person 2 (our hero): Yeah! Pro-lifers come in all shapes and sizes. Basically, I’m pro-life because I care about protecting all people. I’d be interested to know, what do you think about abortion?

Person 1: My parents would disown me if I ever got pregnant. Person 2 (our hero): I hope that’s not true! But even if it is, please know that there are lots of people and organizations that are ready and willing to support you or anyone else who gets pregnant.

Person 1: What do you think about rape cases? Person 2 (our hero): Rape is evil, and it’s a horrific way to start a pregnancy. We should never accept rape; people must stop committing rape. Realistically, though, we should identify the best response to the violence of rape. Let’s talk about that.